Where Do I Even Begin ...

So here I am again. On our living room couch staring at my screen blankly attempting to collect my thoughts.

It is exactly 3 weeks from the day I packed my bags and started my eye-opening adventure in India.

A lot has happened in less than a month and quite frankly, I'm having a hard time processing and recording my thoughts. As I try to convey everything I wish to share, my mind goes a million different directions and my writing becomes pretty scatter-brained. Like it is right now :)

So I decided to first share with you the highlights of the trip and the moments/things that had the biggest impact on me. A day-by-day journal will be posted soon for those interested in my ramblings, but this will hopefully give each of you out there a clear picture of India and how God is working mightily there.

So without further ado, a taste of my India ... :)

My first impression

Wet. Everything was just so wet. And muddy. The people, the auto-rickshaws, the shops, and the streets. Wet, dirty, and covered in garbage. Yes, these were my first opinions of this country. Not exactly the "romantic" ideal I had pictured in my head. My ideals, however, had pretty much taken backseat to exhaustion after spending nearly 20 hours on a plane by this point. Despite these initial thoughts, as the sun began to peer through my rain-covered bus window, I looked into the faces of the people. People Christ loves without limit. In that moment, a part of my heart was moved with utter compassion. Moved with love for each pair of eyes that continually met mine.This was the first time I realized that loving these people was going to be dirty and uncomfortable. But totally worth it.

Ministry

First of  all, ministry on this trip really pushed me to step out of my comfort zone. As many of you know, music comes very easily to me and I thought that God could really use me to minister to the kids this way. As usual, God had other plans. He decided it was time to humble me and force me to trust Him alone as my strength on this trip. So where did He place me?  In crafts. Of everything He could have chosen for me to do, this was the thing that appealed to me the least. I didn't want to plan crafts because I had never done that before. It scared me. Throughout the prepping and planning, however, God used my craft partner and a variety of situations to show me that this project was not based merely on my ability - It is was based solely on Him! Painful and humbling lesson to learn, but worth it :)

During ministry, I also was able to see some answered prayers. One specific thing I prayed for in preparing for this trip was to have real time with the orphans we were working with. I didn't just want to play with them, teach them songs and crafts, and then up and leave. Please note that I am not downplaying the impact of the spending this kind of time with the children, but I really wanted to know who they were and see them uniquely. God totally answered my prayers!! We ended up having the opportunity to spend more time with several orphan homes rather than trying to rush through every single one of them. Because of the extended time with the children, we were blessed to hear many of the children's stories. This impacted our team hugely. I will never forget how it felt to watch children who went from playing joyfully moments before to sobbing painfully through their individual stories. I will never know what it feels like to experience such pain, loss, and desperation at their young ages. More than any other time in my life, I wished there was something I could do to erase every hurt and memory that haunted the hearts of these children. I cried out to God pleading for healing for the tender hearts I saw before me. I cried from the depths of my heart and soul for these little ones.

But their stories did not end in tears. Every single child who shared always had a "but" in their story. This is where despite my tears and questions, I saw God's faithfulness clearly laid out. God was providing faithfully for each little one we met through the church in Hyderabad. He has provided them with clothing, shelter, food, family, and an education. These children are so blessed. This is why the children were joyful, healthy, and in love with Jesus. He had brought them faithfully out of darkness and into His marvelous light through the Church doing what it is commanded to do. Amazing.

Random funny moments

• India made me go bananas ... Literally: For those of you who know me best, you know that I detest and loathe bananas with every portion of my being. In fact, I haven't eaten a banana willfully in years. After this trip, that opinion changed drastically. I was one of the "sickies" on this trip and bananas were one of the few things I could stomach (literally). So guess who loves bananas now??? This girl :)
• Who says it's not acceptable to play with your food?: Shout out to my close friends again! Everyone who knows me well knows without a doubt that I love napkins and hate sticky hands. Well, on this trip I had to learn quickly that napkins were rarely available and sticky hands were the norm. After about two meals, I discovered that eating only with my hands was actually quite fun and I could probably get used to it (sorry to all my easily grossed out friends!)
• Good thing I remembered the deodorant ... : Showering was interesting. We ended up staying in a relatively nice hotel but the bathroom situation was still kinda sketchy. If my memory serves me right, I believe out of the five rooms we were staying in, my room was the only one that had a working shower head. Despite this fact, showering still scared me to death. Dirty, cold water with all kinds of unknown grossness floating around. Yuck. Needless to say I showered as little as possible on this trip (as in 3 times ... maybe)
• Mere suggestion ... : Thanks to my Indian friends, I learned quickly that anything "rule-wise" with driving is only a suggestion if you have enough money. It's suggested you have a license to drive just like it's suggested that you learn how to drive before getting out on the road. After learning this, the entire traffic situation made a lot more sense. The honking, fender benders, and off-roading that occurred so frequently were a little crazy, but eventually I got used to it :)
• Cows J-walking ... : This happened almost everyday ... Yeah it's India :)

Hopefully those little snapshots were able to give you a good laugh and a bit of insight into the culture I stepped into. Yes, there were bumps in the road but there was also a lot of laughter that made these bumps memorable :)

Before I finish off this post, I do want to share what God taught me on this trip and how He is currently working in my heart ...

When I signed up for this trip, I immediately started praying that God would reveal to me what role India may have in my future because it had been laid on my heart for so long. In all anticipation, I expected there to be a very clear "yes" or "no" to India after this trip. That ended up not being the case. After wrestling through scripture and praying a lot, the only clear answer I heard was this 

"Wait on Me"

To be completely honest, I was not too happy with this answer.

God, I thought you were going to finally show me what you wanted me to do with my future! So You brought me all the way to India to tell me to "wait on you"?! Seriously?

I felt so confused and kind of frustrated. It took a good part of the trip to wrestle with His answer (even now I'm still processing through it). Besides His very clear answer of "wait", the other thing that became very clear is that God doesn't need me.

Seriously, He doesn't.

But guess what?

He wants to use me.

God has given me so many opportunities to be a part of His huge plans and my calling is to be faithful wherever He has me in those plans. Whether that is India, South Dakota, or wherever, I need to continually wait on Him and yet do what He has already clearly commanded me to do in His Word. I need to actively be involved in missions here and now.

India may or may not be in my long term future, but I'm at peace with that. In fact, I'm getting really excited to see what God is going to do here in the States as well as overseas :) Can't wait to take each step towards the future trusting Him!

So in the most concise fashion possible (for me at least!) that is my trip in a nutshell :)

Stay tuned for journals :)

All praise and glory be to our great God!! :)

Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours

"If to be feelingly alive to the sufferings of my fellow-creatures is to be a fanatic, I am one of the most incurable fanatics ever permitted to be at large."

~ William Wilberforce ~

Close your eyes and imagine for a minute the following scenario …

A dusty and hot wind roughly assails the senses of young Ambika. She looks up and shades her eyes from the beating sun. In the distance she can see her parents standing outside of their small home. She runs towards them with a smile brightening her wistful face. As she approaches, the smile fades quickly at the sight of a stranger next to her father staring at her. She slows her steps and moves towards her mother as if to protect herself from his piercing, dark gaze. Her father and the stranger exchange a few more words until the man nods in agreement with her father. The stranger looks to her again and invites her to come with him. Ambika looks up at her mother confused and frightened, but her mother looks straight into her deep brown eyes and says, “You must go with him and work. You must work to help feed our family … We need to work together”

For many young girls around the world, this is how it begins. A family working hard to survive against the odds needs every member of the family to do their part. A family is very fortunate to have boys if they are in this situation. Boys can work nearly any trade outside the home and their aid can help the family survive another day. Unfortunately if you are a girl you don’t have many options of employment. It is especially unfortunate if you are in a family with many girls.

So what can a family do?

This is where sex-trafficking predators come into the picture. They offer a way of income to the family through the process of sexual exploitation. They pay highly for the chance to objectify the innocent. Families who feel they have no other alternative often agree to this for the sake of their child surviving another day. Devastatingly enough, this is happening around the world daily. In fact, an estimated 1.2 million children are trafficked each year for the price of $12 billion.

Understand that this is not the only way young children are trafficked into the sex trade. Many children are trafficked directly from the streets with no parental consent and others are coerced into this scheme because they have no parents to speak for them. Many children become orphans due to their parent’s involvement in sex trafficking and prostitution. This is a sickening cycle.

With all this in mind, how does this apply to what I can do? What does God command me to do with this knowledge?

Many people have asked me why this trip to India is so focused on orphans. Many of those same people have asked the following question:

What makes the orphan crisis more pertinent than all other world problems?

One of the reasons Journey117 focuses on orphans to such an extent is because they believe many of the problems we face in our world today can be prevented if the Church steps in and breaks the orphan cycle. They believe that God commands the Church in His Word to serve orphans and fatherless in this way. And so do I.

It is amazing what God can do when the Church steps in and comes alongside those who have nothing. There are literally millions that are broken and need Jesus just as much as they need their next meal. We are commanded as the Church to protect and serve the innocent, poor, and fatherless. Imagine what would have happened to little Ambika if only the Church would have stepped into her family’s life. Imagine how different the outcome of her circumstances would be.

That is the kind of miracle God can and will work in the lives of those the Church loves and serves.

I’m beyond excited to love on each child and family I meet during my time in India. I pray that God gives me His heart for the fatherless and reveals to me how I can defend them.

It’s time to break the cycle and be Christ’s heart and hands to a world that desperately needs Him.

“O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
    you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear
to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,
    so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.”

~ Psalm 10:17,18 ~

Praise Him.

References:

http://www.sctnow.org/contentpages.aspx?parentnavigationid=5827&viewcontentpageguid=29d295d1-5818-4e7a-bde1-f61690fa44a8

Beginning the Journey

Every journey begins with a single moment. In that moment, you are given a decision.

Which path should I take? Should I step forward or stay?

A choice that leads to other choices. The choice or step forward is a small stone on a path towards where your journey finds you now. Sometimes we make the choices and sometimes the decision is thrust upon us, but God uses every stone and step to glorify His name. He is the Author of each journey.

He alone is the reason I am here today. He is the reason I am going with Journey117 to India.

To Him be all the glory.

So where did my journey begin?

Summer Bible Camp 2006

This particular summer I came into camp full of insecurities, loneliness, and deep emptiness. My relationship with Christ and those around me was super messed up. At camp, God opened my eyes and heart to the reality of my sin and how His love and grace could cover all of it. During this week, I recommitted my life to Christ on the porch of a small chapel.

This is the moment where my journey began.

After recommitting my life to Christ, my life and attitude was 100% changed. I had a passion to know Christ more and to love others like He does. During that same camp, I was exposed to some awesome missionary teaching. At this particular camp, the missionaries talked about happened to be William Carey and Amy Carmichael, missionaries to India. Amy Carmichael's specific work with orphans and rescued temple girls really interested me. In fact, it was so interesting that I literally sat on the edge of my wooden pew every session!

I wanted to know more about what these people had been called by God to do. I asked question after question that week and my curiosity and interest could not be deterred.

Why am I all of a sudden interested in missions? What does God want me to do with this curiosity? What can a 13 year old girl really do? Does God really want me to possibly become a missionary? If so, is India where I should go?

These were just a few of the thoughts that ran through my head during camp. It was a tad scary to think about during that time. I wondered what my parents would think if I told them. I wondered if my various dreams and hopes for the future were going to be completely changed.

It was scary.
So, I pushed it into the back of my mind ...


Fast forward to Fall 2010

A lot had changed in 4 years. I had been baptized. I went to Mexico on a mission trip with my church. I had a desire to possibly do something medical with my future. I changed in a lots of ways but some things stayed the same.

I still loved Christ with all my heart and I still had a heart for reaching and loving the lost - Specifically in India!
I hadn't and couldn't forget that summer 4 years before. And now, I had medical goals that coincided with this desire to go overseas. My future was looking slightly clearer and I felt like I finally knew exactly how things would unfold.
But God was still preparing me for the future He had planned for me.

In my mind, the only other logical step to take was to actually go to India and see if God really wanted me to do this. God, however, had a different set of ideas that were (as always) a whole lot smarter and wiser than mine!

He has allowed me to wait.
He has given me time to know Him better. He has given me time to work through sinful "baggage" that would have hindered me from loving His people fully. He has given me a better idea of where He might have me serve. Most importantly, He has led me every stepping stone of my journey to this moment, this time, and this trip.

So why this trip? Why this team?

The ministry at Journey117 is orphan focused and for me, that is one of the ministries that I have a desire to serve in. Amy Carmichael's work in this area has encouraged and motivated me, but I want to see firsthand what God is doing and how I can glorify Him through my service of each and every orphan. Other than that, preparing for this trip has truly been stepping through one open door after another. I don't feel like I'm preparing for this trip selfishly, but rather trusting God to keep me in His will every step of the way. He can and will do that. I am so looking forward to working with such an amazing team. Even after only two conference calls, I am confident that God is going to do great things on this trip.

Super joyful and thankful for that - Praise Him!